Hi Educator,
When my daughter was about four, we encountered an unwelcome opportunity
to learn about "icky" feelings. As we stood in line to order
sandwiches, I noticed an employee staring intently at my kid. It didn't
feel like an "Awwww" stare, which made me feel "Eeewww." As we shuffled
along selecting toppings, the person started talking directly to my
daughter. That happens sometimes with little kids, but this time, it
felt wrong.
He asked her, "How old are you?"
I replied, "Banana peppers, please."
He asked her, "Do you live nearby? Your hair is so pretty."
My daughter, dutifully offering the reply she'd been taught in response to a compliment, said, "Fank you."
But in this case, I didn't want her to be nice and dutiful. I wanted her to start building that inner awareness when something is off, wrong, or "icky," and be able to act on that feeling.
So I made myself model it,
in spite of my own internalized monologue about how I could be wrong,
was being rude, or could just ignore it:
"Stop talking to my daughter and asking her personal questions. It's not appropriate, and it's making me uncomfortable."
When we got in the car, I explained what I said and why I said it, because I've lived and witnessed how sometimes our inner voice is—literally—a lifesaver.
Though these situations still happen in person, kids often have to
navigate them online. Without tone of voice, body language, or often the
actual ages of others, circumstances are harder to read. Kids seeking validation from AI chatbots may encounter harmful advice and feedback loops that are predatory in their own way. And it might not be predators or scammers: Peers creating AI deepfakes
of people, saying cruel things in group chats, or otherwise harming
others should also make those "this isn't right" hackles stand up.
As with many life skills, it's helpful to start introducing them early.
And there are lots of opportunities to do it! Of course, we have to hold
tech companies accountable, and parents and caregivers play a huge role
in these efforts. But educators at every level can play a part as well.
As we teach little kids
about safety, sensing, and controlling their bodies, we can also
encourage them to identify how icky feelings show up in their bodies.
The next logical step is letting them know these feelings can also come
up while they're on devices.
Here's a sampling of lessons for little kids:
