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 Keeping Kids Out of   High-Tech Trouble Russell A. Sabella, Ph.D.              In   the real world, we as adults can set up physical boundaries to help us   contain our children to spaces we deem safe. When we take them to the park,   we make sure our kids stay inside the fence. When we visit a video store, we   stick with the children's section and we don't let them venture into the back   room toward the adult videos. Schools have hallways, some have fences, and   they all have procedures for making sure that kids get from one place to the   other while being supervised and monitored. At home, we activate our alarm   systems at night to ward off intruders. Other boundaries in the form of rules   exist. We don't allow our children to play beyond a certain perimeter in our   neighborhoods or communities. We wouldn't take them with us to a night club   where adult activities take place. There are laws in place so that our   children cannot simply go to a convenience store and purchase alcohol,   tobacco, or adult magazines. If an underage child or minor takes a flight, an   attendant escorts him the entire way and checks for identification when   delivering the child to his destination.              Technology   has at least blurred if not eliminated these real world boundaries. The   Internet and other high-tech gadgets have essentially introduced a high-speed   interstate upon which we all travel yet a driver's license is not necessarily   required. Road signs are unclear or non-existent. The small number of   "rules of the road" are not typically enforced and the "strip   joints" are right next door to the ice cream shops. Very few people   verify a "driver's" age and traffic occurs at all hours of the day   and night. The Internet connected computer in particular has become a   potential "back door" for children (and others) to enter or exit   our homes as they please.              I   believe that parenting has always been a tough job although I think you would   agree (even the elders I talk too agree) that it is tougher now than ever   before. The world is truly getting smaller and moving faster, in large part   due to technology that has bridged great divides and has afforded the power   of large companies to the individual. The world is changing and its changing   fast. As parents we want to help our children take advantage of these tools   in a way that bests advances their development. There are more   “bases” to cover in the course of supervision. There are many   more options for us to consider when making decisions about how our children   achieve. More now than ever before, we need to stay focused and goal oriented   in a world that is chaotic and uncertain. We need to realize that “Just   because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” Just because you can   watch 300 channels of television, doesn’t mean you should   increase the amount of time you watch television. Just because you can   share your information with the rest of the world in the blink of an eye   doesn’t mean that you should. Just because you can   receive a call from anywhere and at any time doesn’t mean you should   answer it.              In   many households, children are more technologically literate than their   parents or guardians. This makes sense. Children are growing up in this   high-tech world. They have been immersed in rapid technological developments   and have grown quite accustomed to change. In contrast, their parents and   other care takers grew up in a different world and have been forced to adapt.   For many adults, adapting to the amazing changes brought on by technology has   come with fear, avoidance, and certainly stress. This has created an   imbalance between kids who are "in the know" and their parents/care   takers whom are "in the dark." And because technological literacy   in our current information age translates into power, kids are in some ways   more powerful than their parents. This is not good. Parents are entrusted to   provide appropriate structure, guidance, supervision, and much more in the   course of caring for their children. Yet, a lack of understanding about   technology has compromised their ability to do just that.              My   latest book, GuardingKids.com: A Practical Guide to Keeping Kids Out of   High-Tech Trouble, is designed to empower parents, educators, and other   care takers by better understanding the technology terrain. Readers will be   better able to help children safely and securely navigate a minefield of   inappropriate and risky situations. From podcasts to porn, cyberbullying to   cell phones, this new book helps readers to understand the risks that emerge   when high-tech tools, uninformed parents, and exuberant youth collide. For   instance, did you know: ■      Pornography   is not just for computers anymore. One can now also download porn via gadgets   such as Play Station Portables (PSP), iPods, and even cell phones. Children   can also trade or share an array of inappropriate media via their gadgets via   wireless, bluetooth, or cell phone connections.  ■      Cyberbullying   is a relatively new problem that is facing our computer savvy students which   involves the use of information and communication technologies such as   e-mail, cell phone and pager text messages, instant messaging (IM),   defamatory personal web sites, and defamatory online personal polling web   sites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual   or group, that is intended to harm others. Cyberbullying is a very serious   problem that can have fatal consequences (e.g., see http://www.jaredstory.com/ or http://www.jeffreyjohnston.org/). ■      Some   children are using the photo and video features of their cell phones to   record and send inappropriate (and perhaps illegal) content. These include   photos and/or videos of girls' underwear (i.e., upskirting), sexual activity,   nudity, or pages from a school exam or other protected materials. These files   can easily be posted on websites and shared among many friends.  ■      Some   children are showing signs of technology based addictions such as with   gaming, shopping, social networking, gambling, auctions, and simple surfing.  ■      Parents   are being held liable for pirating of music and software, especially using   P2P networks such as BearShare, LimeWire, Morpheus, Kazaa, eMule, and   Grokster (to name a very few).  ■      When   children disclose personal information or voice their (sometimes exuberant)   opinions, they may also jeopardize themselves or others in yet another way.   You see, most everything posted on any website today may possibly, and will   probably be accessible for all of time. Information shared with others via   listserv, websites, IM, blogs, and other media is typically stored in massive   databases, indexed, and easily retrievable for future reference. Also, once   something is sent or posted to someone else, it essentially becomes public   domain. That is, the content can be copied, download, and passed on to others   without permission of the original owner, right or wrong, whether the owner   likes it or not. You or your child may believe that what you communicate   today is "no big deal" although, tomorrow, the same information   could be considered ammunition by others to use against you or your loved   ones. ■      I   think we all know that content on the World Wide Web meets with very little   censorship. In the United States and some other countries, no other   communication medium compares to the Internet for how rigorously people have   exercised their right to freedom of speech. However, I'm not sure you   appreciate the extent to which this is true. On the web, anyone can easily   and quickly access content that promotes and supports activities such as   suicide, eating disorders, self-injury, violence and racism.  ■      Podcasting,   in its basic form, involves creating audio files (most commonly in MP3   format) and making them available online in a way that allows users to   automatically download the files for listening at their convenience (i.e.,   subscribing to the podcast). After subscribing to the podcast, future   "broadcasts" automatically download to your computer, which can   then be transferred easily to a handheld such as a Palm OS Handheld, a Pocket   PC, cell phone, or an iPod - hence, the name Podcast. In essence, anyone with   a computer, Internet access, free software, and a microphone can turn their   computer into a personal studio and produce their very own radio   show/program. Pornographers, bigots, bullies, and others have also discovered   podcasts as a powerful method for disseminating information. This information   is mostly audio although video podcasts or V-casts are quickly picking up   momentum. Anyone who has the knowledge, including children, can easily access   (and/or produce) a wide range of smut or obscene matter.  Also included in the book, GuardingKids.com, are   two full chapters that describe various solutions that we can take to reduce   high-tech risks among our children. For example: ■        First and foremost, develop an ongoing relationship with your child that   supports collaborative exploration and learning about technology. Also, help   your child to trust you and communicate potentially problematic activity by   not "flipping out." That is, stay calm and rational when dealing   with technology related problems. Be curious instead of confrontational.  ■        Support your child's school in teaching the skills, knowledge, and attitudes   included in technology/media literacy. You can download a basic child-parent   agreement at http://www.schoolcounselor.com/pdf/student-contract.pdf ■     Keep   your home computer in a location that is easily viewable.  ■      Turn   on the Safe Filtering mode on your search engines. In addition, use other   filtering/blocking software such as Cybersitter (which I use and highly   recommend). Another option to consider is to investigate and choose a   "Family Friendly" Internet Service Provider (ISP) (read more by   visiting http://tinyurl.com/f2zxd). ■      If   you choose to give your child a cell phone, purchase one that is "child   friendly." That is, users of this phone can only send and receive calls   from others approved by parents. ■      Gain   personal and practical experience of various technologies so you can listen   and talk with your children with authority. That is, become more   technologically literate yourself. For example, set up your own MySpace.com   account and learn how it is used. ■      Visit   www.GuardingKids.com/links   for helpful resources and materials.  In essence, technology provides us with tools to help us   accomplish our work more effectively and efficiently beyond what we can do   without it. Computers, cell phones, gaming devices, iPods, and other gadgets   help us to stay connected, have fun, and better learn. Such power, however,   comes with great responsibility and sometimes at a premium price. We must all   make certain that we are using high-tech tools responsibly for ourselves and   our society. We must ensure that our children understand how to embrace the   tools of the 21st century in a manner that is safe and secure. Technological   literacy for adults and children alike will help us to make decisions that   are right and realistic. It is important that we each make a personal   commitment and take the time to evaluate the use and impact of technology in   the lives of our families. Then, with great care, it is critical that we   appropriately learn, teach, monitor, and supervise so that we may   appropriately guard our kids from high-tech trouble. With technology, we can do many things. However, just   because we can, doesn't mean we should.    ---------------------------    Dr. Russell A. Sabella is currently a   Professor of Counseling in the College of Education, Florida Gulf Coast   University, Fort Myers, Florida and President of Sabella & Associates,   LLC, an Educational Consulting, Training and Development practice.  Russ is author of numerous articles published in   journals, magazines, and newsletters. He is co-author of two books entitled   Confronting Sexual Harassment: Learning Activities for Teens (Educational   Media; 1995) and Counseling in the 21st Century: Using Technology to Improve   Practice (American Counseling Association; 2004). He is also author of   several other books including the popular SchoolCounselor.com: A Friendly and   Practical Guide to the World Wide Web (2nd edition; Educational Media; 2003),   GuardingKids.com A Practical Guide to Keeping Kids Out of High-Tech Trouble   (2008, Educational Media Corporation), and School counseling principles:   Foundations and basics (2007: American School Counselor Association).  Dr. Sabella is well-known for his numerous trainings   including the Technology Boot Camp for Counselors, Solution Focused Brief   Counseling, and Datability conducted throughout the country. Russ has trained   and consulted with thousands of school counselors, educators, parents, and   organizational leaders throughout the country. Dr. Sabella is past President   (2003-2004) of the of the American School Counselor Association. |